Well, I've often thought about writing something these days, and in my head I've written several posts, but it's the actual life that always creates me some problems.
Let's say, for example, watching pictures of some friends on their profile I have this strange feeling that life has left me behind somewhere and I'm floating in a sort of limbo where I observe things and people without really feeling part of anything. Above all, I have to say that I don't have any feeling of belonging to a group when I am with other people. I think that consumerism, liberalism and subsequent individualism had their saying in my education, willing or not. Loneliness did the rest. And taking pleasure in its company.
Obviously, I do take pictures, like everybody else, and people take pictures when they are happy and do something nice or they like, when they are with someone they enjoy the company of... then they tag them in this pics with nicknames like Fra, Manu, Gigi and the like. I don't find this feeling of sharing moments of intense fun with others, especially when I am in large groups. I love talking with people, with intelligent people, but I hate sports (above all, sports that are going to be played in a group) and things of that sort. Actually, I hate any social activity that doesn't involve eating, drinking, talking (especially of movies, music or art), watching a movie, going to a concert or an exhibition. Well, that's the simple truth. So, when I find myself doing none of the above activities in company of several other human beings or talking with people that bother me, I feel like hell.
Some days ago I found a sentence by Sartre that well describes how I feel:
"So that is what hell is. I would never have believed this. The fire and the torture. You remember: the fire and brimstone, the torture. Ah! the farce. There is no need for torture: hell is other people." (from: No Exit)
Dear Jean Paul, what else can I say? You were very wise, and think! Risiko, amateurish volleyball tournaments and role plays hadn't been invented yet or, anyway, they were not so popular (and I cannot imagine you playing in an amateurish volleyball contest, no way!)... but I suppose that genocide and xenofobia were more than enough.
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